Jesus was right, and we can prove it.

Jesus made His position on divorce very clear:  One to a customer for life. (Slight paraphrase.)

Seriously. His apostles were quite frankly, freaked out. He doubled down, and started talking to them about celibacy. Seriously. Look it up in Matthew 19. 

With the benefit of 2000 years of hindsight, we can see the wisdom of prohibiting attempts at second marriages. Divided loyalties for children. Broken hearts of abandoned spouses. Since we have been systematically breaking His commandments for the past 50 years, we have statistical evidence that divorce is hard on children.

sad-girlgrey-her-scars-are-on-the-insideThis particular research summary finds that children of divorce have poorer relationships with not only mother and father, but often with grandparents as well. Children of divorce have a weakened ability to handle conflict, are more likely to be aggressive, and as adults, tend to be less able to communicate effectively with their own spouses. Children of divorce have more behavior problems in school, more depression and anxiety, diminished learning capacity and lowered school performance. Child abuse and neglect are more common, especially in stepfamilies. Children of divorce have lifelong increased health burdens, including a risk of premature death. This summary of research goes on in this vein for 48 closely-typed pages, and 333 footnotes.

agony-in-the-garden
A classic image of the Agony in the Garden, the night before Jesus’ crucifixion.

On the night before He died, Jesus foresaw His own physical suffering as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. I imagine that He saw all the sins of the world, for which He would suffer and atone. Because He was God, He could see all things and know all things. I believe He saw the children of divorce, weeping for the loss of the lives they had known. I believe He saw the anguish of abandoned spouses. I bet He saw the fact that second “marriages” are more likely to fail that first marriages. He saw the disappointment so many attempted second marriages would bring. He was trying to spare us all this.

archbishop-charles-scicluna-of-malta
Archbishop Charles Scicluna of Malta: What is he thinking?

Some bishops of the Catholic Church are interpreting Pope Francis’ Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris Laetitia to mean that divorced and civilly remarried Catholics can present themselves for communion, if they believe they are “at peace with God.” I cannot imagine what these men are thinking.

I can tell you what they are NOT thinking. They are not thinking about the abandoned spouses. They are NOT thinking about the children, whose families have been turned upside down by their parents’ switching out of parent-figures and sex-partners.

This is the child’s perspective. We tell them, “I still love you. But my relationship with my new sex partner is more important to me than my relationship with your other parent, even though your other parent is half of who you are.” The children cannot make sense of these incompatible claims.

Needless to say: this conflict does not even arise in families where the parents are continuously and faithfully married to each other.

There is, in the end, only one cure for this kind of social confusion. To say as often and as loudly as we can: Jesus was right to prohibit attempts at second marriages while the first spouse is still living. We know this from experience. Our experience is so profound, we will not be talked out of it.

If you have such an experience to share, please consider telling your story for the Tell Ruth the Truth blog. You will be helping more people than you know.

“Playboy sold me a pack of airbrushed lies.”

We started the Tell Ruth the Truth blog to give Survivors of the Sexual Revolution a chance to tell their stories of heartache and recovery. I’m very taken with a recent post, from a man who calls himself “E.H.”  He had the courage to share his story this week.

“Playboy magazine had sold me a pack of airbrushed lies. The idea that Playboy promoted was that there is playboy-bunny-logosomewhere this perfect woman with a perfect body with whom you want to spend your days. Somehow, having a perfect body in bed with me would be what I needed and wanted to have ultimate happiness. I bought the lie, as did so many millions of men.”

The airbrush is a basic necessity for keeping the Sexual Revolution going.  The Revolutionary propaganda airbrushes away all the problems and pain, leaving only glamour and fun. Each individual who is harmed by the lies, feels that he or she is the only one. When they work out that they have been lied to, they have no forum for sharing their insight. Every person has to figure it out alone.

E.H. cries out with apology to those he has harmed:

“In 2001 I converted to the Catholic faith and a few years later I discovered Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. … How I wish I had known that when I met Robin. How I wish I had heard that in time to live it out with Karen.”

 

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The Late Great Pope St. John Paul II, an inspiration to many.

Writing can be therapeutic for the person, helping them heal and move from being a Victim to being a Survivor. These stories can also help the readers. Some may believe they and their families are the only ones who have made these mistakes. Others may despair of ever recovering from their past sins. I am very grateful to “E.H.” and all of our contributors to the Tell Ruth the Truth blog.

Do you have a story? Consider sharing it with us and our readers.